The Toxic Relationship Between 'Personal Style' and 'Style Inspos'
I want to take on this immensely nuanced topic and explain it in my own words, solving the cold case of personal style. It is a relevant discussion because it is perhaps one of the most asked questions within the online fashion circle, indicating prevalence. As a collective, we have gotten so good at copying that we forget what it means to have a personal style, which can be pretty detrimental depending on how you view it.
The current social media climate has corrupted many’s process of searching for their style.
You open TikTok or your choice social media platform for style inspiration, and you see various influencers in different styles, some you like, others not so hot about. This goes on for another 30 minutes, and in a short period, you are presented with different styles and trends, laced with comments on what you should and shouldn’t wear, what’s in, what’s out, what’s REALLY in, what’s cringey, etc. All of this information, whether you actively engaged or passively consumed, you stored it in your memory, knowing it will be helpful.
The next time you go to your closet, you look at the collection of clothes in front of you, and the overwhelming waves of style advice come rushing toward you. You decided to shut these voices out and tell yourself, ‘I will just dress the way I like it, true to myself.’ Moments later, after you’ve meticulously picked out what you want to wear for the day, you stand in front of the mirror and realize this is precisely what one of those videos described. It’s not a bad outfit, you actually quite like it, but something didn’t feel right. Nothing is personal about it.
“This shouldn’t be!” You start questioning whether you’re a ‘normie’ and the philosophical meaning of ‘dressing true to yourself.’ This experience was so paralyzing that you decided to cancel all plans for the day and repent for this fashion blunder in the comfort of your own bed with a nap. Well, not this exact sequence of events, but I reckon this is something that you may have experienced, questioning what exactly dressing true to yourself means and the journey to ‘personal style.’
What is the no.1 culprit in today’s fashion climate causing so much trouble in people’s search for personal style?
To cultivate a personal style, you must first understand what nutrients it needs to grow: time and understanding. When your first response to ‘not knowing your style’ is to watch hundreds of style inspiration videos, this leads to the natural outcome of subconsciously copying, it disrupts the natural process of understanding what works and what doesn’t.
Inspirations aren’t meant to be personal, they are mere starting points, a reference point. We voluntarily expose ourselves to the relentless bombardment of styling advice, treating style inspirations as a fashion band-aid, and thinking that’s the way to improve. Spoiler alert, it isn’t the way to improve, it is a form of info-torture though.
But it isn’t the lack of inspiration to start with, STOP LYING TO YOURSELF! It is the insufficient understanding of our current wardrobe that makes style development tricky. The end goal isn’t just about putting on one nice outfit, it is to develop a sustainable sense of style that says something about you. So, what is the difference between dressing nicely and having a sense of personal style? Emotion.
The emotion connected to each item. Unlike ‘finding a good outfit,’ personal style evokes emotions that are uniquely yours. What are your thoughts on polos? What are your thoughts on an oversized hoodie? What are your thoughts on wearing bright colors? Don’t think too hard, just whatever it speaks to you on first touch. It can be a simple yes, no, or a more defined feeling. If it’s not something you’ve worn before, are you open to trying it? By slowly vetting through your wardrobe with these questions in mind, questions that probe your emotional relationship with different garments, each answer is then part of the formula for what your personal style is.
Furthermore, once you’ve identified the sentimental value, clothes that make you feel confident can be mixed and matched, the same goes for those that make you feel warm, comfortable, angry, moody, etc.
Having a better understanding of how clothes make you feel will exponentially increase the value you get from style inspiration videos. If the ‘menswear essential’ video tells you that you NEED a blank tee, but you know you don’t like blank tees, this ‘essential’ serves no purpose for your style. Simple as that.
Your emotional connection to clothes is the anchor that saves you from blindly consuming or trend-hopping, and it is also the key to wearing clothes with confidence rather than a lifeless ‘quiet luxury’ template. It is important to find a good fit, but it is much more important to feel good in your clothes and not worry about your style being constantly out of trend.
Give yourself the power and integrity to choose which trend to participate in; don’t make it a never-ending chase. Finding personal style is not easy and is a long journey, but the method is more straightforward than most people like to admit, or at least most style YouTubers wouldn’t give it to you straight.